What is that?

I was in the bathroom primping my hair today when I found something that shocked me to the bone. Something so terrifying, it was almost all I could do from screaming in horror.  It was more terrifying than a creepy eight legged spider on my towel.  More scary than leaving my hairdryer plugged in while in the bath. It was a....White Hair.  On my head!!  It was so pure white that when I first saw it i gasped in horror. I thought i had just got styling gel that wasn't worked in good enough. So as i try to work it in harder and harder i realize it wasn't gel at all it was attached and it was a hair!!

Ok so I might be a little dramatic about it but I am too young for white hairs.  I am too young to be going gray aren't I?  Well actually gray I might have taken that a little easier but it wasn't gray at all it was white like the color of snow.  It wasn't the first one I have found in the past few weeks.  My hairdresser, which is also one of my best friends, told me she had found a patch of small ones but i just laughed it off. I didn't really think she meant it.  Although if you ever meet her you would know she will tell you the truth no matter what. I thought she was just being mean.  But there it is was for real staring me in the face a big fat ugly white hair.  I had to pluck it. Despite all I hear I couldn't bare to live with it.  It was too much for me to handle.  

Sunday at church I found another one. It was long and as we were singing I just caught the glimmer of something shinny out of the corner of my eye and as i looked to see what it was this long white hair was waving at me.  I plucked that one too and showed it to Daniel.  As he started rolling on the floor laugh I told him it was his daughters fault and that made it even more funny to him.  Sure I make fun of him about his ever receding hair line but he can shave his head and pull it off, I don't think my head is the right shape for that.  It is comical but also sad at the same time. 

It is a milestone for many but at this age I think there is something wrong.  I see the effects that Addy is taking on my body.  The stress and grief that have been surrounding us since that day.  But i never thought it would go to my hair, my hips and stomach maybe but my hair.  I guess that is part of being a mom things change and you have to learn to deal with all the differences in your body.  

I can now see why my grandpa after my grandma first past away had said he felt like in one year he had aged ten. As i plucked that hair out that was the same thing I was thinking.  I feel like I have aged alot through this process. Not that i probably didn't need to grow up some but I feel like an older person.  Just another sign of something that grief can do for you.  So for the first time in my life i think it might be time to make an appointment to get my hair colored.  What a scarry thought....maybe I will go purple in honor of Addy:)