Stupid Questions

Why do people feel the need to talk even when they don't have anything to say? I understand that people are shocked and don't know what to say when they find out what happened with us. I would be too but to hear some of the things that have came out of peoples mouths lately just makes me wonder do people really find the need to talk to cover up there true feelings?

The other day I had to call to get home owners insurance. Sure we needed it and I have been putting it off so I finally fit it into my busy schedule, and did it. (My schedule isn't that busy I just don't like dealing with that kind of stuff so I procrastinate for those that don't know me that well.) I get on the phone and talk to the secretary no big deal. She asks me what seems like a million questions to those I don't really know the answers to so I just make stuff up. So when i get off the phone with her I called Daniel to check my accuracy in the information I had given. Yeap, sure enough I was wrong on some of it. So I had to call her back and inform her of my lack of knowing what I was talking about.

So on my way to Wal-mart I got a call back from our actual insurance guy. We got to talking about the house and all. He was checking our credit all our personal information up on his computer screen he asks about our jobs. I tell him what Daniel does and then he asked about me. I guess since I haven't really had to tell much people about it I just haven't had to deal with this but I told him I was a house wife now and left it at that. He then proceeded to ask more personal questions just for subject of conversation I guess. He asked that dreaded question how many kids we had. I guess since I am staying at home we must have kids right? Being caught off guard and really paying attention to the road more then the conversation I told just told him. We just had our first daughter and she passed away. I guess since it was the way it came out he replied "well it isn't that big of deal you are young you can always have more."

Silence, did he really just say that to me? To Me, a grieving mother who's daughter is no longer in her arms. To me, a mother who just that morning laid in bed holding tightly to a pound puppy since she has nothing else to hold. TO ME Really... I didn't know what to do or what to say. That moment of silence was so long it felt like an eternity, what do i say? So I say the first thing that come to my mind. Well with Gods help we are dealing with it but losing a child is a very hard thing to deal with. That said the conversation moved on.

I guess it isn't a big deal to other people but to me and my family this is a huge loss. Nothing that can be repaired without the help from the one and only Healer. It just led me to think about why do people feel like they need to say something. An I am sorry to hear that would have surficed. Why do they feel the need to try to make it less of what it is, or make it seem like no big deal. Well you can always have another one. I want another one don't get me wrong but I want her to be here as well.

Which thinking about this brought another situation on hand that happened to Daniel. Not long after he went back to work, which was so hard for him. He had been proud of his daughter and made sure everyone knew she was coming.

A customer called and was talking to him. He had found out what had happened and as the subject turned to that he told my grieving husband this bite of wisdom, which by the way if you are a man and know someone in this position don't say this to them unless you want a nose job. He told him "I guess you just weren't cut out to be a father." Really not cut out. Hello he IS a father. Just because she isn't here with us doesn't mean he isn't her Daddy. She was part him and part me of course he is a father. She looked just like a cute girl version of her father I have news for that guy he is a father.

I guess amongst all this ranting my point is this. If you know someone that is hurting don't try to make them feel better by thinking of something that could be, or might be. It doesn't help. Just tell them that you are sorry, you feel for them or you can relate, if you can, and leave it at that. Actions speak louder than words and if you show them through other things that you truly care those are going to be the things they remember the most anyways. Unless you say something stupid and then they might just remember that stupid question or statement every time they see you.

In all just do what Christ tells us to and love one another. Don't think we have to to talk when sometimes we don't. God will give you the wisdom on what to say when the time is right but to do it blindly i don't suggest it.