The Stand

I'll stand
with arms high and heart abandoned,
In awe to the one who gave it all
I"ll stand
my soul, Lord to you surrender all I am is yours.

My favorite song by Hillsong to date. I love that song. Those words are so what I feel everyday. Even through the tears and the heartaches of Addy. Even through the pain of missing her and the moments of fear I get when I think about all the what ifs. He is still there and if i just reach out with my arms high and abandon all my fears and feelings He will meet me.  He will be there, and He will feel the pain right there with me.

It's kind of weird what has brought me to write this post.  As I sit here waiting for Daniels lunch to get done so I can take it to him, I have the Ipod on and am just listening to the words of that song once again, and they hit me.  Its like it is a new song a new experience every time I hear it.  I have big dreams and aspirations that one day I will learn how to play that on my guitar. On that day it will be great.  Granted it will probably be years from know. Hillsong is hard to play especially for a beginner but One day I will.  Just like one day I will hold my baby.

This might seem different to people but I have made a play list of music for music for Addy. She has her own play list in my ipod, songs that have gotten me through this time.  Songs that I have heard and songs that will remind me of this time. Some are old ones i already knew others are new. Most are spiritual but there are some that aren't.  Its is just a very eclectic arrangement and this song sits among those.  Music is so healing.  She loved music I know she would have been a rock star:)

I know she is up in Heaven right know singing and praising and loving every minuet of it. She doesn't miss me but she see's me miss her and is telling me it is going to be ok. One day she will get to sing for me.  Until then I can just listen to her play list and think of her always.

But just like that chourus says, I am going to stand with my arms held high giving Him all the praise and glory for all He has done in our lives.  One day we will see her and we will hear her perfect voice singing for her Jesus and that is the moment I am looking forward to the most.