Roses for Addy

I finally finished, well almost.  I got Addy's roses planted which meant I got the rocks i set out to move by myself moved.  It might not look pretty yet but in a few months I am praying that the flowers will be blooming outside of her bedroom window.  This has been a mighty feet for me.  Those rocks are horrible to move and with only my hands to move them and wheel barrow it has been quite the trip.  But I finally was able to put them in the ground I am so hoping the survive while I am gone. Daniel your in charge:)

It all started a few weeks ago when I bought those roses with hopes to plant them some where on our two acres for Addy.  I found the perfect spot under her window but obstacle  number one arose.  Those rocks. Mountains and mountains for rocks.  Not going to get defeated I headed out for rock moving day number one. It was a nice day and I got what felt like a lot moved until spent I looked back at the progress and realized I barely made a dent in them.  On to rock moving day number two. I got a little more moved, it was fairly chilly so I didn't stay out as long as I wanted but still made progress.  On to day number three it was fridge wind and decided to be cloudy and cold.  It looked like a tornado could hit an minuet and it felt like it was getting close by that wind. I finally called it quits after an hour that day.  Then today. It was nice not too warm but at least sunny when i started. By the hour and 45 minuets later it is cloudy cold and I am beat.  But I got enough of the rocks moved to plant my flowers and that is all that matters to me.  That goal is almost completed:) 

When I get back from my trip to Cali. I will have one more day of rock moving for that spot and on to the next.

Its been a hard day. This morning was particularly hard. I couldn't put my finger on it until I looked at the calendar with bills on my mind and realized it was the 11.  No wonder it was a hard day.  4 months ago today my little angel was born into this world but was not here.  Its hard to believe it has been four months it seems like just a few days ago.  But when I look back I am starting to see the path of grief we have traveled, we are traveling and I realize we have come a lot farther than I would have thought possible four months ago.  The only thing I can do it praise God that He has been here through it all and He is the one that has made the progress possible.  Without Him we wouldn't be were we are. From people looking in I am sure it seems like we haven't made much of a step in the healing direction but i believe we have and are.  I might still be clinging to her blanket at night wishing it was her I was holding but that will be here for awhile still. I might still think of her during the day but as time goes by it isn't as painful to do any more.  I still have my days were I just want to hoard up in the house and stay under the covers but that is ok.  As long as I can keep myself going most days I think I am doing ok. 

So for Addy, I planted your roses today baby.  Purple and pinks ones to match the inside of your room.  They will bloom and look beautiful and everytime I water them. Everytime I look at them I will think of our daughter and smile.  Becasue I know she would want me to do that.