Purple Flowers

It rained last night.  Not just a little but sudden down pours that lasted a while. I like stormy weather, sometimes. It is nice when it is hot and the clouds decide to burst open and cool us down.  It was one of those kinds of nights last night. Daniel and I were working on setting our stones for our front walk way and about an hour into the adventure it started lightening. Deciding it wasn't safe to be holding a metal shovel and standing outside we decided to call it a night and come in. No sooner did we get in and cleaned off before the storms hit.  It was so pretty. It is always so quite when it storms. Well besides the noise of the thunder booming overhead. The bugs and birds stop and it just is kind of weird. 

Its always after the storm when it is most interesting to see what has happened to the surroundings of our home.  The wind and rain tend to shift things around and it makes the landscape look different than before.  I don't really know when it stopped raining last night. I do know at 4 it was still going but besides that I have no clue.  But when I got up this morning and let Kolby out for his morning tour of the backyard my eye caught something that it hadn't seen before.  Out there amongst our struggling trees were a bunch of purple wild flowers scattered all around.  I know Daniel will say they aren't flowers they are weeds but they are just too pretty to call a weed.  But looking out there seeing them all made me think of my Addy. 

I am sure she would have loved storms too. Her father likes to go out in them and she was alot like him in many ways.  The purple flowers that popped up over night made me think that she was out there planting them just for me. I know she wasn't but it was nice to look at them and think of her.  I saw Kolby walk amongst them trying to stay away from them as if she was playing with him and tickling him as he walked by.  I just can't help but miss her sometimes.  Things catch me off guard or by surprise as to what will make me think of her and it is all I can do to catch my breath and live through that moment. 

This sounds silly but I even looked at clothes the other day.  I was walking through the store. I had to go right by the little girl stuff for something and this outfit caught my eye. It had a cute little lady bug attached to the pocket of this little jumper dress and just out of curiosity I found what I thought would be Addy's size.  I held it in my arms just to get a feel for what size she would be.  I had to put it down and leave. The overwhelming sense of loss and missing her took over and I knew if I didn't divert my attention I would be lost in this pain for awhile.  Its just silly stuff that gets to me.  Who would think to do that? If any one saw me they probably thought I was crazy.  But that is ok. 

I have learned that I just have to allow myself to get through these times. Get through those moments and realize that it wouldn't always be this hard. But still seeing those purple flowers brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. I am so happy they were there to great me this morning but it doesn't make missing her any easier.  I will enjoy those wild flowers for now and think of Addy when I see them fluttering in the wind.