He did it again!!!

It's amazing how God waits for the time when you feel like He is no where around to surprise you with His appearance.  It's just funny to me that at the lowest points in life He always knows when the right time is to surprise you with His unfailing love again.  He never left but you feel like He did, then He reappears.

Most of you were there but for those who don't know God did an amazing thing at Addy's funeral.  Anyone that was there witnessed a true miracle that day.  It was November and of course as any season in Oklahoma you have no idea what the weather will be like from one moment to the next.  It had been overcast and gloomy all week as things were unfolding with her. Maybe just because that is how I felt but most of the days there was little sun.  While preparing for the funeral we were told there was possibility of snow that day and it was going to be really cold and windy. Windy, really in Oklahoma you have to be kidding me. So we planed for snow.

The morning of the funeral it was cloudy, dark and very gloomy. It was like the clouds and weather knew what was in store and were weeping with us.  It was just dark. As we drove our way to the cemetery my mom informed us that she had been praying for sun.  That she knew God was going to give it to us and that we just needed to trust Him. I know I was thinking to myself what a nut.  Sun does she think she is a weather women now? I wasn't wanting sun the clouds were feeling our pain and it wasn't going to get any better. Always remember mothers know best.

We arrived at the cemetery. Had the service inside since it was suppose to snow, and as we walked outside across the parking lot to the cemetery the weather was not different than when we went inside.

Daniel being the brave father he was wanted to carry his little girl to her final spot so with her little casket in his arms and me by his side we walked out of that church across the parking lot to that little spot picked out just for her.  As he sat his little girl down this amazing thing started to happen.  Just a little bit of light peered out from the sky. Not enough for anyone to notice but I did.  Then as my dad prayed for his little granddaughter the most amazing thing happened.  The clouds opened up. I mean literally opened up.  The clouds rolled back, just like the tears streaming down our faces, and the most amazing, warm beam of light started to flood that little spot on earth where we all were huddled. It was God telling us He had our Addy and everything was ok. It was amazing. The most warm sun you have ever felt it got so bright and warm it was like it was the middle of spring right there in that dark, cold winter day. There was dark sky all around but that little spot there was sun.

God was showing us He had us, He had our girl and that everything was going to be ok.  Like that day I feel dark and dreary a lot. Just because life is hard not having her here like we had planned for. It is so hard sometimes and I just feel like those clouds looked that day. Just sad and dark.   But you know what is amazing God sometimes  still opens those clouds for me so I can see Him holding my baby.  I know I sound like a crazy women but aren't all mothers crazy at one point or another?

But He does. Just as often as today. He did that for me.  I am having a hard day why I don't know but to see that burst of sunshine again. To feel that warmth again. To experience that miracle without even asking for it this time to me that is amazing. He is here for us and He always will be.

He has us and He has our baby what more could we ask for? It truly is a gift from God. The sunshine no matter how small it might be no matter how many times we overlook it. God has given it to us to show us His love. To show us He knows what it is like but that He is always watching out for us, and loves us no matter what our insides might look like. He has us and there will be sunny days again!!

On that note here is the verse that I was studying when that burst of light came out today. Funny how God coordinated that verse with this moment. Do not fear, Do not worry.  God does know what is best for us even when we can't figure it out. He has a plan and He will take care of us.

"Do not fear for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you surely I will  help you, surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10