Introducing...

Our new adventure

addy cakes

So here is the story.  A short but sweet one really:)  In my grief I turn to the one thing that makes me feel normal and happy. The one thing I have enjoyed doing since I was a child helping my Nan and Mom in the kitchen making cookies. Well eating more of the dough than making the cookies:) But I have grown up enjoying being in the kitchen creating new sweet adventures and so the next step in our life is one that is bring me back to that time of life were being in the kitchen is fun again.  

I have started my cupcake adventure and have enjoyed it so far. Of course I have only had one official paying gig. But with a few more lined up and business cards on the way I am praying this will be something God can use for His benefit and just allow me to be the baker in it all.  Here are some of our creations so far of course I have to thank Daniel  first because he is the best baking assistant around.  

The Peanut Butter Surprise ( my favorite) and Addy's too:)

The Mystery Cupcake

The Cookies and Cream (our first batch)

 

The Nutter Butter

 Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

 My Spring Lemon

 What Kolby does while I am baking:)

 And The official Cookies and Cream which are Daniel's favorite and all time recommended.

The Waiting

Be assured that if God waits longer than you could wish, it is only to make the blessing doubly precious.--Andrew Murray

I came across this quote a few days ago when I was a reading the book Why? by Anne Graham Lotz.  This book has been helping me through a lot of the thoughts I have had for so long but never have been able to, or known how to deal with them. There are so many whys in our life and when I think about it all I start to question not only why but also what. What am I suppose to do next? What I am going to do now? It has been a struggle none the less but as I think back to the past and where we are today I can only say that we are where we are because God hasn't left us or let go of us this whole time. He is there guiding us and without that guidance I don't know what life today would look like, but it wouldn't be what it is.  

He is there for us every step and He isn't going to let us go no matter what we go through.  It has been a struggle these last few months.  Wanting a baby and feeling let down when we don't get one. That is a scary and emotional journey that seems to have no end to it. I get very discouraged at times and lately I found my self doubt that it will happen again, that we will get that baby we pray for and dream of.  Why is my faith so small, and my trust lacking so much?  I don't understand it all and I can't help but feel like there is something I have done to create this. I know that isn't the case and as I call on God to help me He has proven to me time and again that it will all work out in His timing. His timing is perfect, He is never late or early always right on time. I need to hold to that when these moments of doubt hit and call on Him to be there and I know He will show up right on time.  

Here is one of my new favorite verses that has been on my mind a lot in the past few weeks. I can't wait to see God turn the impossible to possible!!

" The things that are impossible with people are possible with God." Luke 18:27

The Why's that Haunt Me

I lay my “whys?” before your cross,

In worship kneeling,

my mind beyond all hope,

my heart beyond all feeling,

and worshiping,

realizing that I in knowing you,

don’t need a “why”.

---- Ruth Bell Graham

 

Why?  I have a million of questions running through my mind and can’t grasp an answer to any of them.  That small word seems so crushing and huge right now and it seems to be the question I keep returning to on my journey through these times.  I don’t understand most of what is happening in my life.  I feel like I am walking blindly in the dark and have no direct guidance to where I am going I am just walking.  I have faith I understand that He is guiding me. He is leading me to the places I am going. He is leading me on this journey but the uncertainty of it all seem so overwhelming right now.  I just don’t know if I can handle much more.  The waiting is the hardest.  The long journey we have been on seems to only be accompanied by a stretch of waiting. 

 

I don’t like the waiting, the wondering if we will ever get to where we want to be. If God’s plans, which I truly believe are best, are that much different than ours that we are just on the wrong page and I just need to hold on.  I just don’t understand and with that lack of knowledge I am feeling like I am drowning in sorrow and grief yet again. 

 

The why’s of it all of life is so hard to grasp sometime I just want to be able to know for sure what the next step is. I guess that is faith not knowing the next step but trusting God does and will be taking it along with me.  I have been studying just random stuff but it all seems to be leading in the same thought.  I just have to trust. Don’t doubt just trust. I am sure that is the message He is sending to me so this is my journey. To trust in these moments. The moments when life doesn’t make sense, when I am in a place and don’t understand why I am here or what I am doing I just need to trust.  I don’t need to know all the details or the whys just trust He knows them and I need to just lean on that to get me through.